Socialising sober? Yes, you really can.

The thought of socialising without alcohol can feel like an impossible hurdle.  How can you go to the pub/wine bar/dinner party/Christmas drinks/New Years Eve party/work event without drinking?  How will you keep in step with everyone else who is drinking? What will people think?

Well, like most things, until you establish your non-drinking habits, you will benefit from a plan to help you navigate your way through social situations.  How much of a plan is of course wholly dependent on your personal journey and your liking for plans.

Really, what this comes down to is your own personal commitment to not drinking.  If you are confident that your decision not to drink is the right one for you, building up your sober stripes in social situations will come naturally and eventually socialising sober will become normal, and easy.  

Whilst you are earning those stripes, a bit of planning will help.

Firstly - decide ahead of time what you are going to drink instead of alcohol.  Then, when someone asks you what you want to drink you are ready and there is no room for hesitation to creep in and you to fall back on what was your usual.  A firm and immediate “lime and soda please” will keep you on the right track.

Secondly - the big one of what other people will think.  It’s easy to say that it doesn’t matter, but for most of us it does.  Especially around our reasons for not drinking because drinking is so normalised within our society.  So, same as with your drink, have your reason ready - and a reason that you are comfortable with - driving, early start the next day, taking a break, not feeling like a drink, antibiotics - anything that you can deliver without feeling self-conscious and that will make it as hard as possible for someone to persuade you that just a couple will be ok..  

For some of us, it also works to simply explain - alcohol isn’t good for me, I’m staying away from it - and if that works for you then it is a very effective way to close down the “just one” conversation.  

But the key is to be comfortable with the reason you are delivering.  

Keeping in step with people that are drinking.  Well, the truth is that you won’t.  You will stay way ahead of them on the mental sharpness takes, the sleep stakes, the getting home easily stakes and the feeling great the next day stakes.  Sometimes though, all those logical thoughts don’t help, and you simply need to accept that there will be a point when you will know it’s time to leave. Luckily for you, you won’t have been drinking so you can simply and easily leave and get yourself home for a fabulous sleep and a clear head on waking.

FOMO - the fear of missing out.  If you stop and think about what is driving your concern re going out and not drinking, FOMO will probably be there in some form or other.  If you step back from this feeling and look at it from a new angle in that you are gifting yourself something different by not drinking, a gift that supports your mental and physical health, your wallet, your sleep, your peace of mind, does that help put the FOMO in perspective?  Your head, your memories, your conscience, will be clear.

What will you lose?  Well, from where I now sit, nothing. You will only gain.  But I also accept that as you set out on your sober journey then you might feel a sense of loss.  I’d call your attention back to the paragraph above and ask you to remember two things - firstly your core reason for not drinking, and secondly that in reality you are giving yourself a huge gift, one that given the chance, will increase in potency and importance over time.  

It is just as easy to laugh sober as it is drunk, I promise you.