GULP. It’s a big one. Sober sex.

This is a massive topic and one that we cover within the Go-Sober programme - it affects people in established relationships as well as someone starting a new one.  This post though, is about when you are starting something new, without any added Dutch courage.  

For most of us, the establishment of a relationship will involve booze in some form or other.  Dinner, drinks, all that stuff.  Taking the first steps into a physical relationship is no different - alcohol as a mental lubricant is very normal and for some relationships is always involved in any kind of physical intimacy.  

So what if you don’t drink?  How will you manage those moments?  Take heart..  like everything to do with achieving sobriety - it’s all good..

Firstly, and importantly - your decision making will be unimpaired.  Not for you the morning after regrets and the walk of shame.  No, no, none of that thank you very much.

Secondly, you will be in a much better place mentally and physically to actually enjoy anything you decide to do - and without being indelicate - you will be in a much better place to be better at anything you decide to do.

Yes, you might feel nervous, but if you do then you will be able to take a moment and consider where the nerves are coming from - are they good nerves or bad nerves - good as in I want this to be GREAT or bad because I am doubting that it is the right thing to do?  if it’s the latter, because you are sober, grab your keys and off you pop.  If it’s the former, then hopefully you are in the right place, with the right person, and can simply give voice to how you are feeling, and because you are sober, make your voice heard.

Sober sex, like every aspect of sober life, is much more fulfilling, more honest, more personal, and more liberating, than you might be able to imagine.  Establishing a new sexual relationship from a position of sobriety means that you are in the best possible place to ask for what you need and want, and to give your very lucky partner what they need and want in return.  Lovely, hey?